drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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