we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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