hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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