After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
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That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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