He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
