so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
The ass gains better be worth it
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