I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
