I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
