We're facebook friends in real life
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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