Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
