Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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