just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
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Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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