I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
