The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
