We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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