at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
