if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Everclear isn't food dammit
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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