Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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