Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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