Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
