you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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