I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
