I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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