I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
