CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
