Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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