i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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