Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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