And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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