I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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