We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize