too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
