i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How's work?
Spinning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
