he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
