he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
