I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
