READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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