If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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