I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
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Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
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You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??