What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
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Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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