the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
