Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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