I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
