the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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