Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
