Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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