You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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