I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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