there was a trapeze. enough said
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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