"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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