the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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