At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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