billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
