I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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