Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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