dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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