i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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