In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
