Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
