You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Can I color on your dick again?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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