I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
