sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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