Where did you get a picture of my penis
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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